This post is a goodbye and a statement of gratitude for my friend Jesse Lambert, who died on December 22.
Gratitude at year’s end
I took a break from blogging about philosophy last New Year’s to say goodbye to my rat Gabrielle, who passed away in December 2017. Though the post was mostly a collection of happy memories about Gabi, it also was an expression of a philosophical tension I have been trying to work through: how to acknowledge my gratitude for the emotional labour companion animals provide, while also recognizing the context for these relationships are dominated (to various degrees) by confinement and ownership.
Perhaps “goodbyes and gratitude” will be a yearly trend for this blog in December. I won’t say much about it here, but this year has been one in which I have been trying to center gratitude as part of the way I move through the world. (I will say that a yoga retreat and Belinda Blinked have been huge influences this year).
As 2018 nears an end, while I have philosophical thoughts rumbling about my head keeping me awake at night, none of them seem as important as saying that I’m grieving. I’m grieving for the loss of my friend. I want to say thank you to my friend, thank you for being you, you were important.
My friend Jesse
Jesse was one of the first friends I made in Kitchener-Waterloo. We met through a gaming group devoted to a cooperative video game, Artemis, and the associated role-playing world of the Terran Stellar Navy. He mentored me through learning the game. It has changed significantly since I’d played in graduate school, and the Kitchener group is fairly skilled. I had a lot of catching up to do. Before I knew him better, I was grateful because Jesse included me in the group.
Jesse was stubborn but kind. He was often quiet, but had strongly held opinions. Beware if you got him going! As impatient as he was in game play, he was an incredibly patient person. We used to joke that he should wear my bike helmet when I pushed his wheelchair because I am so bad at navigating bumpy sidewalks.
Here’s a picture of us playing Artemis at the Adventurer’s Guild, about a year and a half ago.
Jesse was one of the first people that made Kitchener feel like my home.
I’ll end with a minute-long video tribute that members of our Artemis group made for Jesse.
Feature photo by Miguel Orós on Unsplash